LAKIN@LARGE - Seeing is believing

March 2012

Just before Christmas I received an email entitled ‘An Invisible Wristwatch’. Presuming that it was some sort of shaggy dog story, I placed it in my ‘Jokes’ file on my computer. Going through the file this morning I discovered that it was from the Gevril Group and I opened it to discover, to my disappointment, that the wristwatch was an ‘art watch’ called Frisson designed by Rolf Sachs for Fortis. What is special about it is the ‘finish on the mineral glass crystal resembles an iced vodka glass just out of the freezer.’ It has been designed to ‘encourage the wearer to physically interact with the watch by wiping a wet finger over the dial or breathing on it to get a clearer view through the frosted glass.’ The text continues, ‘This breathtaking [no pun intended by the company] design literally changes in appearance every time you touch it. The moisture of your breath brings clarity to the dial for just a moment, before it returns to being semi hidden by a veil of icy frost.’

Licking one’s finger prior to being able to read the time may appeal to some, but when you consider the places the average digit may have been since the last time you checked the time, it would be wise to think twice before actually doing it. Personally, I’d prefer the iced vodka and a normal watch, but then I belong to the old school that believes a quick glance at your wrist should suffice. Be that as it may, much to my chagrin, the ‘invisible wristwatch’ is not invisible, merely bewildering.

Nevertheless, I love the idea of an invisible watch. Can you imagine going along to say TAG Heuer and telling Jean-Christophe Babin, the CEO, that you’ve invented an invisible wristwatch.

“Can I see it?” asks Babin.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s invisible,” you say as you push up your sleeve and show him a naked wrist.
“So what time is it?” he asks.
“I don’t know.”
“Why not?”
“Because invisible means you can’t see it!”
“So why have one?”
“Because time is no object.”
“Well one thing’s for sure, you’re wasting my time.”
“But time is money!”
“And how will that make money for TAG Heuer?”
“The watch is not expensive to produce.” At which point you’d be thrown out quicker than TAG’s new Mikrogirder can notch up two thousandths of a second!
The invisible watch concept is a little like the story about the nurse who rushes into the doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, there’s an invisible man in the waiting room.”
“Tell him I can’t see him.”
“But you don’t have another appointment at the moment.”
“Right, but I can’t see him.”
“Why not?”
“Because he’s invisible Nurse.”
“But I’ve just seen him.”
“No you haven’t.”
“Yes I have, otherwise I wouldn’t be asking you to see him would I?”
“Nurse, it’s a joke, don’t you understand? It’s a play on words, I can’t see him, you can’t see him if he’s invisible, right?
“Well I don’t think it’s funny. He might be ill.”
“All right, show him in.”
“I think he left. I can’t see him.”
“How do you know he left if he’s invisible?”
“There’s a note on the chair.”
“I hope it’s not in invisible ink. Can you read it?”
“It says, ‘Can’t wait. Licked my watch and discovered an untapped source of iced vodka!”
And speaking of doctors, did you hear about the man who hadn’t been feeling well and went to his doctor for a complete checkup. After the doctor had carefully examined him he sat the patient down and with a rather grim look on his face said, "I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but you’re dying and you really don’t have much time.”
“Oh no, that’s terrible. How long have I got?” the man asks. Looking at his watch, the doctor says, “10...”
“10? 10 what? 10 months, weeks, what?” he asks desperately.
Well, you’ve got to laugh haven’t you.

Source: Europa Star April - May 2012 Magazine Issue